The end of summer is near and school started back today ~ yay!  (Yay for school, not the end of summer ;) The kids were excited and ready for it.  They have had a *very* fun summer.  Belle went away to camp and enjoyed horseback riding, hiking, boating, swimming, and all kinds of other fun camp activities.  The boys went on 2 beach trips where they took up skim boarding for the first time and swam in the ocean until their fingers and toes pruned up.  Belle also spent a week at the beach where she went fishing and crabbing from sun up to sun down...  She spent lots of time with her cousins digging in the sand, swimming in the ocean, and riding golf carts all over the place.  I’ve loved being home on Fridays spending time with the kiddos doing all sorts of fun summer stuff!  We visited the library a lot, and of course the pool.  We’ve gone skating and bowling and visited the game ranch where we fed and interacted with squirrels, chipmunks, deer, rabbits, ducks, goats, sheep, pigs, peacocks, black bears, porcupines, skunks, turtles, and a myriad of other creatures.  We’ve been to the movies, laser tag, and miniature golf.  We’ve spent weekends at the lake fishing, swimming, playing on the shores in the red Georgia clay, and riding wave runners. We’ve had cookouts and bon-fires with friends and we’ve played flashlight tag ‘til way past dark.  We’ve done a little bit of everything!

Having promised the boys that we would take them to Six Flags before the end of summer, h and I took them there last Wednesday.  Belle wasn’t interested in going because she’s not into the big scary rides like the boys are.  Smart girl… Before I even stepped foot on a ride, I was already motion sick just watching the boys ride the swings.  That round and round motion…ugh, makes me queasy just thinking about it!  The boys are still too small to ride the really big roller coasters ~ like the ones where the coaster hangs from the track and your feet dangle down…and the one where you’re in a horizontal position “flying” like Superman…  But there was plenty they could ride and I think we knocked out almost every single eligible ride in the park.  Unfortunately for me, the roller coasters I remember as being *so* much fun when I was a kid…aren’t so much fun anymore...  In fact, I left the park that evening head spinning, nauseous, suffering from heat stroke (we picked the hottest day of the year to go to the park), and head, neck, and back injuries.  I swear I had a concussion.  And whiplash.  Good God man, those coasters did a number on my neck!  The very last one we rode, I was in so much pain and so stressed out trying to brace myself for every twist and turn and every downward trek that inevitably ended with my ass slamming down onto the seat, battering my poor neck and back even more, that my inner-screams wouldn't leave my mouth...  Yeah, my neck still isn't right and I have bruises on my arms and legs.  Battle scars, if you will.  But I haven’t seen two sweeter smiles than the ones my boys flashed all day long while they enjoyed the heck out of that darn park.  Yes, we will surely return again next year and I will pretend to enjoy every single minute of it.  There are a few coasters, however, that I think I’ll refrain from riding…and I just might come equipped with my neck brace…

I have been wanting to post an update for quite some time now…my life has been a whirlwind of happenings…lots of ups and downs and in betweens…  I think my problem is that I’ve been thinking way too much on how to put into words these latest happenings in my life.  So, finally I decided ~ no more thinking!  I’m just gonna write it all down however it happens to come out.  Here goes…

First and foremost, I must talk about the passing of my father-in-law; h’s step father, otherwise known as “Granddad”.  Granddad had been diagnosed with leukemia last summer.  My kids spent a few last happy moments with him at the time of his diagnosis before he entered treatment, which consisted of lots of meds, hospitalizations, chemotherapy, and a bone marrow transplant.  Granddad pretty much sailed through his treatment, as much as one with cancer can “sail through” the horrid regiment of treatment that is.  It was quite a difficult time dealing with his illness as my kiddos are accustomed to lots of “Grandma” and “Granddad” time.  Being that Grandma spent most of her time by Granddad’s side (when she wasn’t attending to the 2 businesses she continued to run), she wasn’t able to see the kids much either during his treatment.  Besides, they had to be super careful to keep away from all possible carriers of nasty germs and illnesses and Grandma couldn’t afford to get sick and possibly pass it on to Granddad.  The boys really missed Granddad being at their baseball games this summer.  He was quite the permanent fixture there at the ballpark and the boys could always count on him being there.  He was the typical Grandfather ~ proud of his boys beyond words and the first to holler words of encouragement (or not ;) to the boys and to whoever else needed to be praised (or reprimanded)…  Luckily, he was entitled to do so.  He was a Granddad!  And that’s just what Granddads do!!  Belle, on the other hand, missed doing what she and her Granddad loved doing most together ~ fishing.  He had a fishing rod in that child’s hand shortly after she learned to walk, no joke.  And Lord does she LOVE to fish…she could do it for hours…Granddad definitely instilled that in her.  Every time Belle spoke to him on the phone, the conversation always involved fishing.  The last time my kids saw their Granddad was when he was quite sick and in the hospital.  He had done wonderful with his cancer treatment and bone marrow transplant.  His counts were better than expected and we all felt that he was without a doubt going to beat this thing.  Until he had some issues with his liver counts...  He was scheduled for an outpatient liver biopsy; a procedure that should have had him in and out of the hospital within 2 hours or less.  Long story short, Granddad pretty much never came out of the hospital following that procedure.  The kids saw him about 2 months after that and he had taken a big downward spiral by that time and it was questionable as to whether or not he would pull through.  The kids had not seen him in about a year and he was very, very ill at the time.  Granddad was a tall man ~ probably about 6’2 or so.  I would be surprised if he weighed 100 pounds at the time of the kids’ last visit with him.  Needless to say, the kids did a lot of talking and Granddad did a lot of listening.  The only time he spoke during that visit was with Isabelle when he reminisced about one of their fishing expeditions.  Super sweet…  Well, Granddad continued to decline in health and without going into the details of all the horrible ailments he suffered after the liver biopsy, h’s mother along with Granddad’s surviving sisters decided to stop all treatment.  We lost him on July 12^th and we have been missing him something fierce ever since… 

Deep breath…I’m kinda feeling a bit emotionally drained after writing all of that so I think I’ll close a little sooner than I originally planned.  Before I sign off, I will say that the kids are all doing great ~ they have had a fantastic summer!  I will update on some fun stuff sometime soon.  In regards to myself, I’m doing fine as well.  Lots going on…I think my life is taking a new, unexpected path…we shall see how things continue to unfold on that front…  But life continues to move forward and my kiddos are healthy and happy, and for that I am and will always be very grateful.

Sorry for the lapse in updates (as if anyone other than myself is even reading this ;).  Hopefully I’ll get on the ball and update more often.  Lots has been happening around here so I have plenty to write about.  I just need to stop thinking and over-analyzing things too much and just put it out here!  I’ll work on that.

Until next time and as always, be great!

PS ~ President Bush signed the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act on July 29^th, which will dramatically increase federal investment into childhood cancer research!  This is wonderful news…J     

I’ve been slammed here lately.  Positively slammed!  But I wanted to put something out here because it’s been way too long since I posted anything, so here’s a quick rundown of the happenings in my world…

Project Overhaul is still in full force!  If you remember from a previous post, I talked about a major home-project that I was undertaking.  Basically, some major cleaning, organizing, and getting rid of all of the unnecessary junk that’s accumulated in my house over the past couple of years.  I think I started this project a little over 2 weeks ago and I have *almost* finished room #1, the kitchen.  Damn!  I didn’t realize how much extra junk I had stored up in my kitchen!!  Ridiculous.  You would not believe the crap I’ve gotten rid of.  I’m talking trash bags full of stuff that I didn’t use or need.  I don’t even know where some of it came from!  I have found the most random junk in drawers and cupboards, in the pantry, and even in the fridge.  Yuck!  But I’ve got it all under control now.  Yay me!!  New contact paper has been laid, everything has been cleaned and organized…everything has been sprayed down with a bleach-cleaner…I’ve gotten rid of so much junk, it’s unbelievable.  I still have to majorly clean my hardwoods in there, but I’ll wait until I’ve knocked out the adjacent sunroom so I can do both floors at the same time.  Anyway, my kitchen looks awesome.  I’m totally still on board with this project and loving it! 

Kiddos…Belle first…  Belle has been having an awesome summer!  She enjoyed her week-long camp so much.  Part of her camp was “horse camp”.  She spent the first part of her days at camp riding.  So funny…she said she already knew everything they were teaching and she could answer every question they asked, my little know-it-all….  Also, apparently she was the only one trained in English riding ~ and they were riding Western.  So she got to ride the *special* English horse for a couple of days, which totally made her think she was hot stuff!  But she loved it.  I’m sure we’ll be back next year.  Right now she’s got swimmers ear, nasty little infection.  I had to take her to the doctor the other day and she should not be swimming for at least 10 days, but I’m gonna let that slide for tomorrow, the 4^th.  We’re planning on spending the day at the pool.  No way I can keep her out of the water!  It might take a little longer for her ear to heal, but such is life when you’re a rambunctious 10-year-old.  Meanwhile, she continues to grow into the most beautiful, amazing little girl.  I swear, sometimes I look at her and tears well up in my eyes because she is *so* beautiful ~ inside and out.  She’s got the most caring heart in the world and I love the person she is becoming.  God, I love that child…  Two years ago she decided she wanted to donate her hair to locks of love.  It is a project for kiddos with cancer who lose their hair.  Hair donations go towards making wigs for these little ones who are going through treatment.  You have to have at least 10 inches to donate, so we cut off all 10+ inches two years ago so she could be part of this awesome project.  Right after she did it, she decided she wanted to grow her hair out again so she could donate to locks of love a second time.  Well…two years later, here we are.  She’s got more than 10 inches ready to be cut off and donated, so we’ll be doing that soon.  Like I said, she’s got such an awesome, caring way about her.  She is my heart…

Noah… Noah started summer school last week and he’s doing AWESOME.  I’m so proud of him.  The boys have had developmental issues since they were babies.  They were under county services since before they were 3.  Speech, occupational therapy, etc…  I held them back in kindergarten, so they should actually be starting 3^rd grade this year instead of 2^nd.  But it was a good decision and they’re pretty much on par with where they need to be.  Noah had a bit of a rough time last school year, which is why he’s in summer school.  But he actually likes it.  And his teacher seems to be really good in working with him.  I wasn’t really pleased with his teacher last year.  I just think there were things she could have been doing with him to increase his academic performance and I really think she just didn’t want to be bothered.  Keep in mind, I have a teaching degree and I’m certified to work with kids with learning disabilities.  Neither of the boys are labeled “learning disabled” anymore, but he’s got a record.  An educational record of being developmentally delayed, that is.  Generally speaking, regular education teachers aren’t fond of having to incorporate these “problem kids” into their typical classrooms, so often times these kids have difficulty keeping up with the curriculum and the class work.  As was the case with Noah last year.  But I’m confident that with this additional schooling, he will be totally prepared and ready for 2^nd grade in the fall.  He’s really enthusiastic about summer school, which is outstanding. 

Ross…  My little love-bug..;)  Ross did a flag football camp last week and LOVED it!!!  He broke his arm in March of last year playing football with a bunch of kids at the ballpark while waiting for his baseball game to start.  It was a very traumatic experience…  The arm was healed in time for fall football and although I did not want him to play, he wanted to play and h agreed to let him.  Wouldn’t you know, the first day of practice in full pads, he broke the same arm again!  Poor fella…  Noah and Ross were the smallest ones on the team.  They played with kids that weigh over 100 pounds ~ at 7 years old!  Insane, I know.  My little guys don’t even weigh 50 pounds soaking wet, and yet they had to hang with these *monsters*.  So Ross was out of football before it even started.  He still enjoys the game, but really he’s too small to play competitively.  Flag football is a great alternative to the regular football organizations, so we’re looking into signing the boys up for flag football in the fall.  Either that or baseball ~ it will be their choice. 

And me…  Well, I’m still trucking along as usual…  Nothing much new on my end ~ other than keeping up with my munchkins!  Nothing new has transpired between H and I.  We’ve had some really deep conversations, both agreeing that we need this divorce to happen, but seeing no end in sight financially.   Things are a bit tight these days.  He works in the real estate industry and things are really, really slow right now.  And me, I still need to land that new job in an effort to increase my salary so that I can decrease the financial burden a bit and move forward with my life on my own.  I’m still trekking forward.  I’m confident that things will end up the way they’re supposed to, in their own time.  Meanwhile, I’m just trying to focus on my kids and make sure that they’re as happy, content, and secure as possible during these tumultuous times… 

Tomorrow is the 4^th (ummm, I think it’s already tomorrow!) and we have plans to hang out at the pool all day with friends.  Our neighborhood has a huge party on the 4^th with a live dj and games for the kids.  It’s always a blast, so we’re very much looking forward to that!  Afterwards, we’re all coming over here for a cook out, and then we’ll head out for fireworks later on in the night.  It will be a fun time, I’m sure!  I hope everyone enjoys their 4^th of July as well ~ and please, stay safe!!

That’s all I have for now.  As always, stay tuned for more…Days of my Life…

Until next time, be great!    

Lots of stuff has been happenin’ round here…

• Belle rode in her first horse show 2 weekends ago!  It was something fairly small put on by the stables where she takes her lesson.  It was a long, hot afternoon, but I enjoyed the heck out of it and she did amazingly well!  I have to say that I really thought that she looked the best on her horse when she was showing.  Of course I know nothing about horses and riding…I’m just sayin’…;)  She was in a group of 6 other riders who I’m guessing were a little bit older than her based on size.  And serious to goodness, she was such a beautiful rider, I couldn’t have been more proud of her.  She competed in walking, trotting and cantering.  She earned one 1^st place ribbon and two 2^nd place ribbons!  It was an awesome experience.  The fact that she loves it so much makes it that much more wonderful.  I love supporting her in something that she’s so passionate about.  You’d have to see her in action to fully appreciate it.

• The boys are still playing on their all-star baseball team.  The team is doing okay in their tournaments.  The boys are having lots of fun with it still, so that’s all that matters in my mind!  And I’m still enjoying the heck out of sitting on the sidelines screaming my head off every time we do something great!  Go Hawks!!

• We are all enjoying our summer here.  I have been taking Fridays off of work and spending time doing fun stuff with the kiddos.  And every other freakin’ kid on the block…  Every Thursday night I get suckered into multiple sleepovers.  I usually end up with oh…3 or 4 extra kiddos, which makes for very interesting Friday afternoons!  But it’s all good.  We usually just end up at the pool anyway.  What’s the big deal?  Whether you’re watching 1 or 10 ~ you still have to be alert and on the lookout.  Somehow it comes easy to me to keep up with a million kiddos, I don’t mind.  I’m so cool like that…:)

• Belle went to her first ever summer camp last week!  She went with one of her besties, V’s daughter.  V and I drove the girls to camp last Sunday afternoon and picked them up yesterday morning.  My baby girl was gone for an entire week, I can’t believe it!  But she’s good like that.  She’s been going and doing since she was a wee little thing.  She’s very social and isn’t fazed at all about being away from home.  Plus the fact that she had her little bestie with her made it all the more easy to deal with.  They spent the first part of their days in horse camp (imagine that) and then they did all kinds of other fun stuff during the second part of their days.  Lots of swimming, canoeing, banana boating, blob jumping, arts and crafts, etc… She had a really good time and I’m pretty certain we’ll be doing it again next year!

• I’ve been back to the beach!!!  Yay me!  My entire family made a trip to Hilton Head Island last week, including my mother, sisters, brother and their families.  I wasn’t able to make the trip because of the million activities we’re involved with.  But my sister who was staying with my mother left in the middle of the week, so my mother asked me to come down with the boys.  The trip was up in the air for me because we had baseball games last week.  It all depended on whether or not we won or lost our games…luckily, we lost and that freed up our week!  See, winning’s not always the most important thing…especially when vacation is involved…;)  So we packed up and headed out last Wednesday, staying until Saturday morning.  We had an absolute blast!  The boys had so much fun with their little cousins, skim boarding, swimming in the ocean, and playing baseball and football on the beach.  Too freaking cute!  The skim boarding is new and I, ahem, tried it out as well.  Didn’t fair quite as well as the boys did…I sustained a slight injury to my left knee and shin…pretty much the entire leg below my knee, I should say…damn skim board…  But anyway, we all had a fabulous time.  I love my family to pieces and so enjoyed spending time with my brother and his family and my sister and brother-in-law and of course my mother.   

There is a little more to report on, but quite frankly, I’m tired of typing…so I think I’ll call it a post.  I’ll update again soon to include some of the stuff I left off here, so be sure to stay tuned for more Days of my Life…

Until next time, be great!

That’s the theme of my life these days.  I totally feel like I’m falling apart at the seams…  My marriage has already fallen apart.  My house is falling apart.  My car is falling apart.  Everywhere you look, I’m totally and completely falling apart…

H and I had a conversation Thursday night.  Thank goodness we’re on good enough terms to have conversations like this.  At the end of a very long day and night, we were up rather late and started talking about the usual stuff, when we both just looked at each other and said, “what in the hell are we doing here???”.  I can honestly tell you that finances are the only thing keeping us officially “married” at this point.  We’re done.  Our marriage is over.  It fell apart 2 years ago.  We’ve been done for a very long time.  We’re both pretty much doing our own thing these days.  We maintain our family under one roof, but we live completely separate lives.  Financially, we can only maintain one household considering the standards to which we want our children to grow up with.  Unfortunately, we’re not in a position to sell our house and divide things equally.  H’s line of business has directly been hit by the shitty market we’ve seen as of late.  We cannot in our right mind put our house on the market at this point. It would be a stupid move for us…  And I’ve had my heart set on a new place.  A new home.  A new home with just me and my kiddos.  I’ve been ready to leave this place behind and start anew for as long as I can remember…  But it’s simply not possible at this time.  I’m stuck.  I’m literally stuck right here where I’m at…  Therefore, I think it’s wise for me to make the best of my current situation.

Given the circumstances that I’ve been dealt, I’ve decided to focus on my house.  I love this house.  H and I built it from ground up.  We were the first owners here in our subdivision almost 7 years ago.  I would leave here in a minute if I could, don’t get me wrong…nosey neighbors, holy rollers, everyone being all up in our business…  I’d love to leave it all behind.  But again, that’s just not possible at this point.  So I’ve decided to focus on the here and now. I’ve *got* to get this place in shape.  Back in the day, I was a clean freak.  I’m talking my carpets were vacuumed 2 or 3 times a day.  That, of course, was BK.  Before Kids.  I was anal as hell when it came to my home.  You could eat off of my bathroom floors at any given moment ~ my shit was that immaculate.  I’m totally over everything in the house having to be totally perfect at all times, however, lately it seems that my house has been collecting lots of junk.  Like stuff just seems to be piling up everywhere…the entire house just needs a complete overhaul of sorts.  And that’s what I’ve committed myself to doing.  And I’m putting it all out here for all to read.  I am undertaking a major project to completely strip clean this house from one end to the other.  I’m starting off easy.  Taking one room at a time.  One project at a time…  I’m not putting a time line on the “overhaul”.  I’m just gonna do what I can do and not make it a stressful event.  My goal is to go through every room in the house and completely clean from top to bottom, getting rid of the old and bringing in the new as I see fit.  The first room I’m tackling is the kitchen.  I began my mission today, cleaning out every drawer in my kitchen, re-installing tack paper, getting rid of all the unnecessary junk, and organizing like a mutha.  And my shit looks goooooood…;)  I’m so excited about my new project!     

The car…  We bought a Sienna mini van the day before the boys were born.  We needed a vehicle that could accommodate 3 car seats.  My God…when I think back on the fact that I had 3 babies, all under the age of 2, it makes me shake.  Literally.  How in the hell did I do it???  Anyway, we’ve had the van for 8 years now and it is literally falling apart.  The back door handle broke, so we can no longer access the “trunk” of the vehicle from the outside.  Seeing how the boys have ball games and/or practice 2-3 times a week, it’s  a major hassle to have to manipulate baseball bags and chairs out of the trunk of the car through the side doors.  Speaking of which, the side doors have also broken within the past couple of weeks.  You can no longer access the side doors from the outside of the vehicle.  You’ve got to open that shit from the inside now.  Driver’s side door ~ it’s fixin’ to give out at any moment now.  Totally not functioning as it should.  Driver’s side window no longer works either…  Get my point…??  The freaking car is falling apart.  Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned the fact that I drove over a curb Thursday night, blowing out the back right tire so now it’s sporting a spare…  Good Lord, we need a new vehicle…

Okay, enough bitching and whining for one entry.  The good in my life heavily outweighs the bad.  My kids are healthy and happy, and that is the most important thing to me by far.  These other things, the house and the car ~ they can be repaired, cleaned and organized.  They can be fixed.  I would trade a perfect house and a perfect car in a minute to have “perfect” kids…luckily, I don’t have to…my kiddos are as perfect as they come, in my opinion, of course…;)

Stay tuned for updates on “the overhaul”!  Wish me luck!!

Until next time, be great.

Backtrack 8+ years…I am pregnant with my boys…  Physically, my pregnancy was perfect.  My doctor told me routinely how well I was doing, especially considering the fact that I was carrying twins.  I never had any sort of medical difficulty with my pregnancy.  I was certainly blessed in that regard.  Emotionally, however, it was a completely different story… 

My Dad had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure 5 years prior.  His doctors gave him a death-sentence, which he should have met some 6 months after diagnosis.  Here we were 5 years later and Dad was still with us.  It was a blessing I will forever be grateful for.  About the time that I became pregnant, Dad’s medical condition rapidly deteriorated.  He was in and out of the hospital constantly.  He had a procedure done that left his right foot partially amputated.  He was forced to retire from his job, even though he was no where near ready to do so.  His medical condition forced the early retirement and it was painful to watch him have to give into the fact that his body could no longer keep up with his spirit.  On the outside I was happily pregnant, expecting babies’ number 2 and 3.  On the inside, I was an emotional wreck.  I feared every day that my Dad would not live to see my twin babies born.  “Dear God, please let him live to meet his newest grandchildren…please, please dear Lord, grant me this one final wish...,” were the words I found myself desperately praying every night before sleep…   

During my pregnancy with the boys, I was at the hospital a lot visiting my Dad.  Many times, I took Belle with me.  She was under two years of age and a total handful, yet every visit to go see “Grampy” she was on her best behavior.  It was as if somehow she *just* knew.  She was angelic-like on these visits…it was the first glimpse I had into her caring little soul.  She was a “monster” of a little girl, and I say that in the most loving way possible…;)  Typical, I guess.  Very head strong, very argumentative, very determined and outgoing.  But during these hospital visits, I swear she had a halo hanging over her precious little head of curls.  Somehow she knew the severity of the situation and never ever gave me grief while visiting with her Grampy.  She was indeed his little angel…

When I was pregnant with the boys ~ as with Belle, I did not find out the sex of my babies.  I loved that surprise upon birth.  The not-knowing…it was the most awesome experience ever finding out if my babies were girls or boys.  This time around, I knew there were two and I knew they were identical.  So I knew I would be having either two boys or two girls.  We had picked out our girl names and shared those with the world. Likewise, we had one boy’s name picked out, which we shared with everybody.  What we didn’t share was the fact that if the twins were in fact boys, one of them would carry on my Dad’s name.  I wanted this to be my special surprise for my Father, so we kept this secret for the entire 9 months of pregnancy, telling everyone we were stuck in picking out a second boy’s name.  Being that in my family, the oldest 3 of 4 kids were all girls and the first 3 grandbabies were girls, we were all pretty much expecting girls.  Little did we know what was in store for us…

May 11, 2000.  Imagine my surprise in the delivery room when baby #1 was born and I was told that he was indeed a boy!  I smiled through my tears in anticipation of the gift I would soon be giving to my Dad.  Baby #1 took on the name we had chosen, Noah Riley, and in the hour and fifteen minutes before baby #2 was welcomed into this world, I can’t tell you how many times my sisters and mother, who were in the delivery room with me, reminded me in panicked tones that I still had to come up with another boy’s name for baby #2!

Baby #2 was born, like I said, an hour and fifteen minutes later.  When they laid him upon me I announced to the room that his name was to be Philip Ross.  Talk about a room full of crying women..;)  Then I asked for someone to please bring my Father into my room…  One of the most incredible memories I have of my Father is the time spent with him in that delivery room after his first grandsons were born.  Dad walked in with the biggest, proudest smile on his face and immediately walked over to my bedside.  He took my right hand and asked me how I was doing.  I, of course, was a pro at this baby-birthing thing so I told him that I was perfectly fine.  My epidural worked wonders and I couldn’t even feel my legs let alone the trauma of what just went down…;)  Then I asked him if he had heard what the second baby’s name was.  He said, “No, what is it?” and I told him, “Philip Ross”…  I saw the tears immediately well up in his eyes and he had to let his head drop for a few moments.  When he looked back up at me, he asked me to repeat what I had just said.  Again, I told him that the baby was named after his Grampy, Philip Ross.  He tilted his head to the side and asked me if I was serious and I, of course, told him yes!  My baby’s name was Philip Ross…  He shook his head in disbelief and then looked back up at me with tears in his eyes and a wide smile across his face and said a simple, “thank you” as he squeezed my hand. 

June 11, 2000.  It had been one month since we welcomed Noah and Ross into the world.  Life was good.  I had three beautiful, healthy babies, and Dad had been out of the hospital for a few weeks.  I woke up on this morning, June 11^th, 2000, to my crying babies.  I got up with them, allowing H to sleep in.  I was in the process of feeding Rossy his bottle when the phone rang.  It was about 7:30 in the morning and because my schedule was completely off due to having newborns, I wasn’t even fazed by this unusually early morning phone call.  A minute or two later, H walked into the living room where I was with the boys.  Not realizing that he was trying to hand me the phone, I told him to go back to bed ~ that I would take care of the babies this particular morning so that he could catch up on some much needed sleep.  And that’s when I recognized the look of sheer terror and panic on his face.  He told me to give him the baby.  I told him no, I was feeding the baby.  He again reached for the baby and I held on tighter in an effort to not let go.  It was as if I knew what was coming and I was desperately grasping at anything to make it not true.  I needed to live in my bubble for just a little bit longer.  I wasn’t ready for this.  Not yet.  Finally he maneuvered the baby from my arms and handed me the phone.  That is when I heard my Mother’s voice on the other line unable to speak to me.  I somehow managed to get out, “is Daddy gone?” and she replied a sobbing, “Yes baby, he’s gone…Daddy’s gone…”

My Dad died exactly one month after my boys were born.  That was 8 years ago today.  My life took a drastic turn on that fateful day 8 years ago.  I can’t believe it’s been that long.  I can’t believe I have lived for 8 years without my Father.  I have learned that life goes on after the loss of a loved one.  I have learned that you never get over such a loss ~ you just learn to live with it.  Life is different.  It will never be the same.  It is good, don’t get me wrong, and I am doing fine these days.  But it took a very long time for me to come to terms with the fact that my Dad is gone from my physical world.  With him, he took a part of me.  A part that can never and will never be replaced.  A part that only a Father can fill.  I have a Dad-shaped hole in my heart.  It is permanent.  Sure, it’s a bit shaded and shadowed by the father figures in my life and not the aching, gaping hole that it was in the beginning…but it is still there...  It’s definitely still there. It will always be there, until I see him again…

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!  I love and miss you tons.  You know my heart and you know where I am in this crazy journey of my life…  Please watch over me.  Watch over my babies.  Guide us and protect us, please.  Please know that you will always be with us.  You will always be with me.  You live on in the depths of my soul and I cherish the blessing of having you as my Dad.  Thank you for all that you are and all that you mean to me.  I love you, Daddy. 

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

43

This one is long overdue…my girl’s trip to Hilton Head Island with my bestie, V!  We headed out on a Friday morning and I somehow was put in charge of driving.  I hate driving.  Really, really hate it.  I suck at directions and I’m like a Nervous Nelly on the road.  Don’t know how that happened, but I am just not a driver.  Ah well, at least it was daylight.  At nighttime, I dislike driving even more.  But I digress…  The ride there was pretty uneventful.  We chit-chatted pretty much the entire way (except for V’s short lived attempts at sleep..;), and we were there before we knew it.  Checked into our condo and promptly made a trip to the store for corona, limes and some other staples for the weekend (bottled water, chili cheese fritos, and watermelon ~ random, I know).  We put on our bathing suits, poured our coronas and headed to the sundeck, which overlooks the beach.  Ahhhhh…it was wonderful.  Perfect sun, perfect temps, perfect wind, perfect beach sounds and smells, perfect beer…and all shared with my bestie.  What more could a girl ask for?! 

The urge for bloody marys, oysters, and crab legs found us heading to an early dinner.  Yummmm…  While there, we got some recommendations on where we should head for the night.  We got the biggest laugh out of the fact that one of the hotspots was called “The Triangle” ~ the nickname that V, N (another one of my besties) and myself have taken on.  Good stuff… 

Back to the condo we go, shower and dress for the night.  While we were getting ready, V and I were talking about what a great time we were having and how fun it would be to meet some really cool people.  No “hook ups” or anything like that.  Neither one of us was looking for anything like that.  We simply wanted to have a good time.  A fun time.  A stress-free time.  And we thought adding friends to our girl’s trip might add to our weekend “funness”.  Oh, and get this…we knew, obviously, that we didn’t want to drive when we went out.  Much too much drinking going on for all that.  We tried *desperately* to call for a taxi service to come pick us up at our condo and would you believe we could not find a single taxi available to do so???  WTH?  We got answering services and everything else, but not a single live person to request a taxi for pick up.  Ridiculous.  We ended up driving to our first destination and leaving our car there for the night.

First stop, the piano bar.  It’s one of my favorites and I frequent this place whenever I’m in HHI.  There’s a guy who sings and plays the piano and takes requests.  He is awesome!  So that’s where we started.  V and I scored the best seat in the house (a.k.a. “the nest”) and before we knew it, a group of bar-goers were using our table to set their drinks down on.  Soon, we made friends with them ~ all doctors and pharmaceutical reps, some in from Charleston and the rest local.  In all, there were probably 10 in their group so V and I fit right in there…;)  We continued our night running from bar to bar and ended up at “The Triangle” which was our favorite hotspot of the night.  We had *so* much fun…never paid for a drink, danced our asses off, danced our asses off with strangers, bar hopped, and hung our with our new bestest buds.  The guys drove us home at the end of the night and V and I walked on the beach when we got back to our condo.  It was a beautiful night…the kind of night where the stars are so clear and bright that you can’t take your eyes off the sky…  The perfect ending to a totally killer girl’s night out at the beach…

So Saturday, we slept in for a little bit, got up, got ready for the beach, and headed out for the day.  We beached it for a few hours and then walked to the square for lunch at an awesome little Greek restaurant.  After that, we went back to the beach for the rest of the afternoon.  We got a ride to go pick up our car from my Aunt who was in HHI as well and headed home to get ready for our evening.

We got a bit of a late start Saturday night because we squeezed in a quick nap before getting ready.  How nice is that ~ a nap?!  Who does that???  We took full advantage of our time away…ahhhh…  So we started off at a bar called Wild Wings.  We’d been in touch with one of our friends from the night before.  He was meeting up with a new group of friends Saturday night, so we made arrangements to hook up at some point.  After indulging in yummy wings and several drinks and shots (our cute waiter talked us into blonde-headed-sluts), our friend “D” met up with us at the bar.  Another drink with him and we were off for the triangle.  We pretty much had more of the same fun we did the night before.  Lots of drinks, dancing, meeting new people, etc…  Towards the end of our night, we met another doctor friend of D’s.  Very fun, very cute, very entertaining…  We hung out with him until the bars closed and he drove us back to our condo.  “Dr” and I sort of hit it off, so we took a nighttime stroll on the beach together.  We had a really neat connection.  We talked a lot, laughed a lot, and really had a super fun time together.  Again, the perfect way to end a fun night out…  (Sorry, but there will be no more details on “the doctor”…;)

Sunday, we got up and got packed and hiked to where we left our car the night before.  We checked out and drove off the island, stopping at a fantastic little Italian place on our way out.  The drive home was uneventful.  We did, however, have lots of interesting conversations about our weekend!

And that’s pretty much it in a nutshell.  What a fantastic time we had.  I can’t wait for our next girl’s trip!! 

As always, please stay tuned for more...Days of my Life…

Until next time, be great!     

That’s what I have to blog about!  Tons of stuff!!  Funny how that works now.  I’ll be going through my day and out of no where it’ll hit me ~ “I’ve GOT to blog about that!!”  I’ve got plenty to write about.  It’s just a matter of finding the time to do it.  My days are jam packed and my down-time very limited, so it’s hard to find the time to write it all down.  But I’ll work it out.  Have no fear, my dear dedicated readers!  (hahahahaaa..I love talking…er…writing to myself! ;)   Coming soon to a blog near you…I must report on my girl’s trip, which was freakin’ FANTASTIC, by the way.  Seriously, if we had anymore fun than we did, I’d have turned into the freakin’ fun-fairy, grown wings and flown away to Funland…it was *that* much fun  I’ve got the weekend to report on ~ lots of kids’ activities, including allstar games and a horse show!  Right now, it is Thursday night and I’ve got 3 additional kiddos to my brood, which = 6.  I’ve got 6 kids that I’m in charge of.  Just because.  Just because I’m that freakin’ cool.  Speaking of which, I think I’ve said “freakin’” like 50 million times already.  Sorry.  I’ll change it up for ya. ;)  ANYWAY…as I was saying…I’ve got 3 extra kiddos spending the night with me; Belle has 2 girlfriends over ~ v’s daughter and “Orphan Annie”, who pretty much lives here full time.  The boys have Noah’s little bestie spending the night.  At some point I’m gonna have to blog about Orphan Annie and my experience tonight with picking up the boys’ friend.  Here’s a little precursor to those blogs…they both involve the police.  Yeah, I know.  You’re totally on the edge of your seat.  I feel your pain…;) 

I’ve got 6 kiddos still awake and it’s after midnight here.  I should probably sign off now and demand some bedtimes around here!  But before I go...I’ve decided that I’m going to start taking off work on Fridays so I can spend some time with the kiddos having some killer summertime fun!  I’m *so* excited!!  We’ve got big plans for the summer…trips to the zoo, Stone Mountain Park, Lake Lanier Water Park,  Six Flaggs, White Water, etc…  Tomorrow we’re kind of taking it easy.  The boys have a game at 6 so I don’t want to totally wear them out.  We’re going to the library in the morning and then we’ll spend the rest of the day at the pool.  I will have 6 kids in tow.  Did I mention that already?  I am taking 6 kids to the library…the FREAKIN' library...  Dammit, I just said "freakin'" again.  Let me rephrase ~ I am taking 6 kids to the library tomorrow...the DAMN LIBRARY, FOR GOD'S SAKES!  This is just sinking in for me…  Good Lord, pray for me people….

I hope all is well in everyone’s world.  Thanks for checking in!  Well, you’re very welcome!!  (I *love* talking to myself…;)

If I survive the library trip tomorrow, then you should be hearing from me very soon.  Lucky you!  (a.k.a. ME!!)

Until next time, These are the Days of my Life… 

My girls trip is a day away!!  I’m both excited and anxious…  Every time I go away without my kids, anxiety gets the best of me.  I’m totally comfortable leaving them.  H is more than competent.  He’s always been a very involved father, so they’re definitely in good hands.  It’s just *that* feeling of me being so far away from them, having zero control over their well-being.  But again, I know how to deal with my nervousness and anxiety and a few hours on the road, I’ll feel much more relaxed and comfortable and just plain excited about my time away.  That’s how it always works.  So the plans have changed slightly.  V and I booked a condo on the beach of Hilton Head Island.  Go us!!  Our balcony overlooks the ocean…we’ve got access to the pool…we’ll be just a few short steps away from the beach…and a small walk from the tiki-hut ~ *the* ultimate beach bar that features live bands later in the afternoon.  Heaven?  That’s what I’m thinkin’.  I’m stoked beyond words!!  I’ve had a whoooole lot on my plate the past few months/weeks and really need this getaway.  Details of girls weekend coming soon!

My back injury has completely healed, thank goodness!  I had quite a time last week with it.  Lots of pain…  By Saturday, I could tell I was on the mend and on Sunday, I really felt good.  Right now, I’d never even know that I had issues with it last week.  And I never got in to see a doctor.  The referral from my physician to see an orthopedist was for an appointment in 2 weeks.  Two weeks?!  I didn’t have the energy to argue, normally I would.  But I was in so much pain and couldn’t deal with that kind of drama, so I relied on the meds and lots of down time.  Fortunately, it worked and I’m feeling so much better.

I’ve been dealing with the “loss” of a very special someone who’s been in my life for quite some time now…  I’m not comfortable spilling all the details of the *gist* of this relationship or the connection between myself and this person.  But quite frankly, I feel like I’ve been going through hell dealing with it all.  The decision was pretty much a mutual one and one that needed to be made.  I must and will stand by this decision, but it’s not easy. I think I’m doing pretty darn good, everything considered, but it’s been a really tough transition for me.  But such is life, eh...?  Ah well...as Forest Gump would say, that’s all I have to say about that…

On a more positive note, I went out and purchased an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-polka-dotted-green-bikini this past weekend and I will *so* be sporting that sucker on the beach this weekend!  Yay for me!!  I’ve been working on loosing some poundage and kind of exercising “undercover” and I’m quite proud of where I’m at right now.  Hey, as a 37 year old mother of 3 kiddos including a set of twins, I think I’m doing okay in the bathing suit-body department.  Keeping my fingers crossed for a couple of “skinny days”…;)

Alright folks (or folk ;), I know nobody reads this thing ~ it was designed for me anyway so that’s quite alright.  BUT as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself, I suppose I will be signing off on that note!  I hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend and I will surely try to do the same.  Until next time, These are the Days of My Life…

Be great!     

I am exhausted!  But in a good way.  I had the busiest weekend ever, not getting an ounce of rest or down time.  It was crazy!!

Friday, h and I actually went out to dinner and then to a play at a local theatre.  The tickets were given as a gift from his dad eons ago and we’re still cool enough to hang out with each other and do stuff like this.  No biggie.  He did want to cruise to a bar afterwards, but I said no thanks.  Was home and in bed by a reasonable hour Friday evening.

Saturday…we had a scrimmage game for the boys and riding lessons for Belle before heading out for the boys’ birthday party, which was scheduled for 4.  I had everything in order and under control ~ everything timed to a ‘T’ so we could pull off all of these activities without a hitch.  We all went to the baseball game and made it home okay.  H was in charge of taking the boys to the party and I was to meet up with him there with Belle (because of her lesson).  So while Belle was at her riding lesson, I headed over to Target for a few odds and ends that I needed for the party.  I was completely prepared to pick up Belle and leave directly from her lesson no later than 3:30 to be at the party before 4:00 (it’s about a 15 minute drive from the stable to the party location).  So I’m in Target, darting around as fast as possible when all of a sudden I hear thunder.  BIG thunder.  I’m thinking, “holy shit…you have *got* to be kidding me…the windows in the car are down and I am NOT prepared to deal with rain…”  So I start rushing…and rushing some more.  And then I see people entering the store who are drenched from head to toe.  These people look like they were just thrown into a swimming pool with all their clothes on.  So gross ~ being soaking wet when fully clothed…blech!  So I make my purchases and head to the door.  Yeah right…  There are a hundred Target shoppers huddled around the front entrance waiting for the torrential downpour to let up.  Every now and again you’d see a brave soul dare to take on the rain and dash out into the storm, only to be soaked to the core before taking step #2.  It was awful!  Back I go into the store and find the nearest, cheapest umbrella which I proceed to purchase.  By this time I’m done thinking about the flood damage to my car and I’m only concerned about my “birthday party” hair, make-up and clothes.  Mothers out there will understand what I mean by that.  I have planned these things out and timed my day perfectly!  I cannot have the basics ruined by some freaking rain storm that I knew nothing about!!  Well, the cheap umbrella turned out to be totally useless.  I was walking in 5 inches of rain, so my pants were soaked from bottom to mid-thigh by the time I finally made it to my car.  Getting into my car was a joke in and of itself ~ I actually had to stop and laugh at myself in the midst of all the chaos...my new umbrella turned inside out and almost blew away and it took me forever to get myself and my bags and that crappy-ass umbrella in the car and close the door.  I passed a turned-over shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot with a case of beer laying on the ground with a few spare beers scattered here and there, and I *so* considered grabbing one to shotgun…you have no idea the state I was in…;)  Long story short, I drove to the horse farm to let Belle know that I needed to run home to change clothes and repair my face and hair and that I would be back to pick her up.  And I did it.  I made it to the party at 4:00 on the dot and they were still waiting for a few more kiddos to show up.  The party was a big success ~ the boys had an absolute blast!  But needless to say, once I got home and got the kids all settled in, I needed a beverage.  So I popped open a beer…which continued until ohhhh 4 or 5 in the morning…?  Another one of my lifelong besties, “T” and her husband went to dinner to celebrate her birthday Saturday night and then proceeded to come over to my house afterwards for a little “party” ~ totally unplanned.  Aren’t they always the best?!  We had a great time…

Sunday, “T” and her 3 rug rats hung out with me and my rug rats while her husband went to work.  Basically, we let the kids run wild while we recovered from the night before.  Not really ~ the kids were totally supervised.  We were just really laid back this particular day..;)  By about noon, I got a surge of energy and cleaned house for a few hours in preparation for accidental party #2.  We decided that when T’s hubby got off work, he would come over and we would cookout.  Turned out that the cookout we were originally scheduled for Sunday evening was canceled by the host.  So we planned our own cookout at my place.  Filets and crab legs for the adults, and sirloins for the kiddos.  I know, right?!  We had some kick-ass grub!!  Needless to say, the drinking started sometime mid-evening and lasted till the wee hours of the morning once again.  We partied like rockstars this weekend, what can I say?! 

Monday ~ we got up at the crack of dawn and got the kiddos ready and packed for a day at the lake.  H’s dad has a beautiful new lake house about an hour away from where we live with a great deep water dock and a couple of jet skis, so we invited T and her crew to come along and spend the day with us on the lake.  I had a few extra kids in tow (as I always do) ~ “Orphan Annie” (a story for a later date) and her older brother, “S”.  We had an absolute BLAST at the lake.  Got there nice and early and stayed all day.  And guess what I did…I fished!  Not only did I fish, I baited my own hook with live worms AND won the fishing tournament between me and T.  It was a trip…the kids found it hilarious…  Everyone had a fantastic time fishing, swimming and riding the jet skis and we all promptly crashed when we got home last night…

And that pretty much sums up my weekend.  On the agenda for my week…work, as usual, and my girls trip with v on Friday…I’ll keep you posted…

Alrighty then!  This has certainly been enough typing for one entry here, so I’m going to sign off on that note.  Stay tuned for more…Days of My Life..;) 

Until next time, be great!         

Here I am just now updating on the past weekend, and this upcoming weekend is staring me right in the face!  Memorial Day…hmmm…don’t have anything exciting planned for this weekend.  We’re having the boys’ birthday party Saturday afternoon ~ oh, and the boys play in their first all star game Saturday morning too.   But other than that, things will likely be pretty low key this weekend…

Unlike last Friday night!  My girlfriend v and I went out with a good friend of hers and her friend, so it was the four of us.  We went to this really cool restaurant/bar where they have live music on the weekends and quite a crowd for a small place.  Fun times my friends…fun times…  We drank way too much, took a spin on the dance floor (oh wait, there was no dance floor…well, I know I danced *somewhere*…), and talked to lots of cute boys.  All things necessary for a fun girls’ night out!  Saturday morning, I had to call v to make sure I closed out my tab.  Couldn’t remember and I hated to think that I didn’t take care of my bill.  Poor v…apparently she fell into her toilet the next morning because the seat had been put up and she failed to realize that...  Totally confused as to why her toilet seat would be up (no men in the house), she remembered that she had “visited the porcelain god” when she got home Friday night.  Nice…  Toldya, gooooood times..;)  Can’t wait until the next one!!

I woke up Saturday morning with a sore lower back. I can’t imagine what I did to bring it on, but it’s gotten progressively worse ever since.  Thanks to my sister, I was hooked up with some killer meds, but the downside to that is the fact that I cannot function while I’m taking them.  Sunday, I literally couldn’t get out of the bed at all.  H had to assist me and it took me about 30 minutes to finally get up and going.  I’ve made it to work every day, but I’ve had to leave early because the pain becomes too intense and nothing but the meds help…and again, I can’t function on those meds so I need to be at home in order to take them.  I pretty much have to take them and then veg out for a couple of hours.  I hate it when that happens!  I’m just not accustomed to so much down time.  But I think it helps when I give into it and just chill out.  Meanwhile, I’m waiting on a referral to go see an orthopedic doctor, so hopefully I’ll have some answers soon!

Nothing much else to report.  My kiddos got out of school on Wednesday, so it’s a busy time trying to schedule their summer with friends and camps and all that fun stuff.  My girls’ trip to Savannah is still on for next weekend.  I can’t WAIT!!!  I could really use a fun getaway.  I’m so looking forward to taking off next weekend!!

Signing off on that note.  As always, be great!

"When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught to fly."  - Patrick Overton

Holding onto hope and faith ~ Praying for solid ground...or wings... 

Yay…it’s Friday!  Gotta love the weekend..:)

On the agenda…let’s see…  Well, technically I should be on the road right now heading out of town.  I had a last minute girl’s trip planned for this weekend, but it’s been postponed until the end of the month.  Seeing how we threw this trip together 2 days ago, I’m kinda glad we pushed it back 2 weeks.  That gives us a little more planning time and two more weeks to get skinny!  Let’s hear it for crash diets!!  My girlfriend v and I are heading to Savannah.  The pubs on River Street are just calling our names…I can hear it now..:)  We plan on visiting City Market, hitting the cool bars at night, and even getting a beach day in!  I cannot wait!!  We’re both in desperate need of an *escape* and this trip is just what the doctor ordered.  Well, that and a prescription for “happy pills”..;)  Stay tuned for updates on my girl’s trip!

The boys were supposed to be having the first of their end of season tournament games this evening, but it’s been pushed back to tomorrow morning because of the rain from yesterday.  I’m totally bummed about this!  I was all hyped up for a baseball game this evening and now I have to wait another 12 hours…hate it when that happens!  Oh well, at least we won’t be missing Friday night Smackdown tonight!!  Always gotta look on the bright side..:)  You should know that our Friday night ritual in my house includes pizza and Friday night Smackdown.  Yes, it’s a redneck hoe-down, folks.  We’re all big WWE fans in my household and every Friday night we gather around the television and hoot and holler when our favorite wrestlers do their thang.  Never in a million years would I have thought that I’d be a fan of such nonsense, but I must confess ~ I’ve been totally sucked in by this most disturbing form of entertainment.  One of these days I’ll have to post a blog about my experience at a live WWE RAW event that we went to in December.  Exciting times my friends, exciting times… 

V and I are thinking about doing dinner and drinks tonight.  She doesn’t have her kiddos this weekend and my night is open because the boys’ game has been postponed, so tonight might be a girl’s night out.  H has informed me that he is going out Saturday night (no surprise there) so I’ll likely be at home with the kids and whoever they have spending the night Saturday night.  H is famous for going out on Thursday and Saturday nights, which I LOVE because it’s the only *me* time that I get in the house with the kids.  Amazing how much more smoothly things run when he’s not around.  I don’t mean to portray h as being an asshole because he’s really not.  But under the circumstances in which we live, you can imagine the tension between us at times, which unfortunately carries over to everyone, kids included.  Again, I just like my alone time when he goes out so I’m very much looking forward to Saturday night!

Not much else to report here ~ so I guess I’ll be signing off.  I hope everyone enjoys their weekend, and until next time…These are the Days of my Life..;)  Be great!    

I copied this from another blog…name 10 (changed from 12) weird/random facts, goals, etc…whatever about yourself…

1)      I have this really weird thing I do with my bedsheets called “scratchies”.  It’s a habit I’ve had for as long as I can remember and it’s the most calming, comforting thing in the world to me.  Basically, scratchies means rubbing the sheets between your fingers and toes.  Yes, toes too.  I’m kinda like a freaky monkey with the ability to use my toes like fingers.  You must be very skilled in this manner to achieve scratchies with your toes, dontchuknow…

2)      I’m petrified of railroad tracks although I love the sound of a train.  I literally sweat when I cross train tracks.  I have to slow my car down to a creeping pace, roll the windows down to listen for the train’s horn, and look both ways a hundred times to make sure the coast is clear before proceeding forward.  And God help me if the railroad crossing is activated…with those freaky lights flashing and bells clanging and the crossbars lowering…omg, total panic, I tell ya! 

3)      I’ve always wanted to be a foster parent.  If I was in a stable place in my marriage, this is something I would definitely pursue at some point.  There are so many children who are not cared for properly, shown love, protection, and security, who don’t have mothers and fathers that are worth a damn.  To have the opportunity to provide that ~ a safe haven for a little one even for a short period of time, would be so rewarding to me… 

4)      I’m deathly afraid of heights, but I want to jump out of an airplane.  Go fish.  I’m a total mess when it comes to being in high places.  Scares me to death when my kids (or anyone else’s kids for that matter!) get close to a railing at the mall or a hotel or anyplace where more than 1 story is involved.  A couple of the waterslides in Disney World required upward treks that literally had me in total panic-attack mode.  It was AWFUL!  My poor kids now think I’m a total freak.  If I said it once I said it a hundred times…DON’T GO NEAR THE EDGE AND DON’T LET GO OF MAMA!!!  Even strangers in line caught wind of my abnormal fear and chimed in making fun of me.  Trust me, it was *so* not funny..!  Don’t ask me how in the heck I think I’m gonna jump out of a plane.  Mark my words though, I’ll do it!

5)      I have a very special place in my heart for children afflicted with cancer and the families of those who are suffering.  Through my blog reading, I’ve been introduced to a number of “little warriors” who are fighting for their lives and their amazing families who support them along their painful journeys.  I’ve read about survivors and I’ve read about those who have earned their little angel wings…but they are all such amazing people…  Childhood cancer can strike anyone at anytime.  I thank God everyday that my children are so healthy.       

6)      I am a bone marrow donor.  I have never been called to donate, but I would in a heartbeat.  Becoming a donor is simple.  If you’re interested, follow this link to the National Marrow Donor Program ~

http://www.marrow.org/HELP/Join_the_Donor_Registry/Join_Now_Special/TM/tm08_join_now.html?src=ThxMom_RegistryB_2MidMay

7)      I love smart people.  And no, I’m not one of them.  I love people who can rattle off random facts, who can win at trivia, who can hold a decent, knowledgeable conversation on topics of politics, history, religion, etc…  Totally impressive in my book!   In my next life, I wanna be a brainiac.

8)      I hate it when people during a conversation consistently say “huh?” or repeat a question I’ve asked.  Liar liar pants on fire…hello???  Can’t stand that!  If you’re not 80 years old and/or in need of a hearing aid, then there is absolutely no reason for you to say “huh” when asked a simple question, nor is it necessary to repeat anything coming out of my mouth.  A simple question requires a simple answer, period.  Anyone who stumbles that much is shady in my book…

9)      I used to make it a point to run naked on the beach every time I visited it…  Seriously, I’d hit the beach at night time when it would be pitch dark (the beach at night is fabulous…), take off all my clothes and just run wildly.  You’d be *shocked* at how awesome an experience this is!!  I’ve talked other people into running naked on the beach too and everyone had a blast with it.  Skinny dipping in the ocean at night is another favorite of mine…  Hmmm…I haven’t done either one in years ~ perhaps I need to during my next beach visit..:)

10)  I am an Aries and I pretty much fit the description of one to a ‘T’.  And no, I’m not a zodiac/horoscope junkie.  I just find the stuff entertaining…

Anyone who knows me knows that my boys are ball players.  They’re sports fanatics in general, but I think baseball is “their game”.  They played their first t-ball season at the ripe old age of 4 (how insane is that?!) and quickly became well-known for their antics of driving the coaches insane and keeping the *fans* totally entertained in the stands.  Because they were the smallest on the team, they were assigned to the outfield where they did anything but pay attention to the game.  They spent most of their time fighting with one another ~ hitting, kicking, spitting, stealing and throwing each other’s hats, and even throwing punches at times.  They did an okay job of listening if the mood struck them and if the coach could catch them when they weren’t having a serious A.D.D. moment...  I remember h had become so fed up and embarrassed by their behavior at practice that I was assigned to the task.  I’ll never forget the day that one of them ran up to the coach in the middle of practice, swiped his cell phone off his belt, and proceeded to run away with it, the other twin trailing behind, both laughing hysterically at their antics…Lord have mercy…  Thank goodness, their coach was a God-send and had the patience of Job.  He was never fazed by their behavior and worked diligently to teach them the basics of the game.  And I have to say, they did progress that season as with every season that’s followed since.  They even managed to hit the ball, run the bases and score some runs that first season…although the first time that each of them actually got a hit, they ended up running the bases 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd…dugout?!  Yep, ran straight into the dugout after passing 3^rd base.  Fun times and lots of laughs, for sure… But the one thing that has remained constant during their little baseball “career” is the fact that they absolutely LOVE the game of baseball.  They loved it from day one and still today, they eat, breathe and sleep baseball... 

Fast forward 3 years…the boys are playing their first season at the “pee-wee” level.  Noah is a first baseman and a pitcher.  Rossy plays second although he can play anywhere in the in-field.  He also pitches at times.  I don’t know how many homeruns they have under their little belts, but they average 1 or 2 a game.  Never, however, have they managed to hit the ball over the fence and out of the park.  This has been a long-term goal of theirs ever since they saw another player do it way back when.  I must say that since they’ve been playing ball at age 4, I’ve seen only 2 or 3 balls go over that fence…until this past weekend…  Add 2 more to that counter.  Noah hit 2 homeruns over the fence at our last game, both off the first pitch.  He was incredibly proud of himself, but acted in a very mature manner.  His teammates in the dugout went crazy not once, but twice…and Rossy crossed home plate thanks to his brother’s out-of-the-park homeruns, and waited with a huge smile and an outstretched hand, to congratulate Noah on a job well done.  I can’t help but flashback to my little 4 year old boys standing in that outfield, their little uniforms just swallowing them up…digging in the dirt or yelling at each other or swiping each other’s hats…watching the “big boys” make all the plays and knock the balls to the fence… I’m so proud of both of them, words can’t describe. 

Take me out to the ballgame…anytime, as long as my boys are playing…

So I guess if I’m really gonna do this thing, I probably should start out by telling a little bit about myself.  So here’s an entry all about…ME!

My name is "j", I’m 37 years old, and I live in Georgia.  I’ve been married to “h” for 12.5 years and we have 3 kids; a daughter age 10, and identical twin boys age 8.  My kids are the three single most important people in my life.  I love them beyond words ~ they are my world, and then some…  Unfortunately, my marriage is over and it’s only a matter of time before h and I are able to work out the details of the divorce.  My kids do not know that this is happening.  We still all reside under one roof and pretty much function as a [dysfunctional] “family”.  Certainly, the kids have picked up on the little things (like why Mommy sleeps on the sofa…), but for the most part they seem to be content at the moment with the way things are.  There is no doubt that it will devastate them to learn the truth, but unfortunately it’s part of the ugly process of divorce.  Although h’s parents divorced when he was really small, I have literally no divorce in my family.  My parents were married for 38 years when my father died in June of 2000.  All of my aunts and uncles remain married or widowed.  I have two older sisters and a younger brother; all married with kids.  My divorce will rock my family’s world ~ one more thing I have to look forward to… 

But enough of the “divorce” talk.  Let’s move on to some other random facts about myself…  I work as a computer programmer analyst for a software company in Atlanta.  I’ve been here since 1994 when I interned right out of college.  Several years ago I went back to school and graduated from the University of Georgia with my teaching degree.  I specialized in special education and landed a job before graduating.  This was about the time when all hell was breaking loose with my marriage and therefore, I had to turn down the teaching position I was just hired for.  It was purely a financial decision and one that I regret almost daily.  Maybe one day I’ll get back to teaching, who knows.  In the meantime, I’m looking to make a professional change.  This is a vital step in moving forward with the divorce, so hopefully something will happen soon with that…we shall see… 

And on that note, I think I’ll wrap it up for today.  Not that I’m a writer by any means, but usually whenever I write (professionally or personally), I’m a perfectionist.  I like for things to be organized properly, grammatically correct, and all that other good stuff.  For my personal blog, however, I’ve decided to just let it fly.  No planning.  No writing, re-writing, proofing, correcting, and re-writing again.  I’m just gonna let the words flow from my keyboard and just go with it.  So forgive me in advance if I’m all over the place at times.  This is something I’m doing as an outlet for myself.  Something about writing clears the mind and soothes the soul.  I could use some mind-clearing and soul-soothing and I think this is the best way to achieve that. 

Until next time, be great.