My girls trip is a day away!!  I’m both excited and anxious…  Every time I go away without my kids, anxiety gets the best of me.  I’m totally comfortable leaving them.  H is more than competent.  He’s always been a very involved father, so they’re definitely in good hands.  It’s just *that* feeling of me being so far away from them, having zero control over their well-being.  But again, I know how to deal with my nervousness and anxiety and a few hours on the road, I’ll feel much more relaxed and comfortable and just plain excited about my time away.  That’s how it always works.  So the plans have changed slightly.  V and I booked a condo on the beach of Hilton Head Island.  Go us!!  Our balcony overlooks the ocean…we’ve got access to the pool…we’ll be just a few short steps away from the beach…and a small walk from the tiki-hut ~ *the* ultimate beach bar that features live bands later in the afternoon.  Heaven?  That’s what I’m thinkin’.  I’m stoked beyond words!!  I’ve had a whoooole lot on my plate the past few months/weeks and really need this getaway.  Details of girls weekend coming soon!

My back injury has completely healed, thank goodness!  I had quite a time last week with it.  Lots of pain…  By Saturday, I could tell I was on the mend and on Sunday, I really felt good.  Right now, I’d never even know that I had issues with it last week.  And I never got in to see a doctor.  The referral from my physician to see an orthopedist was for an appointment in 2 weeks.  Two weeks?!  I didn’t have the energy to argue, normally I would.  But I was in so much pain and couldn’t deal with that kind of drama, so I relied on the meds and lots of down time.  Fortunately, it worked and I’m feeling so much better.

I’ve been dealing with the “loss” of a very special someone who’s been in my life for quite some time now…  I’m not comfortable spilling all the details of the *gist* of this relationship or the connection between myself and this person.  But quite frankly, I feel like I’ve been going through hell dealing with it all.  The decision was pretty much a mutual one and one that needed to be made.  I must and will stand by this decision, but it’s not easy. I think I’m doing pretty darn good, everything considered, but it’s been a really tough transition for me.  But such is life, eh...?  Ah well...as Forest Gump would say, that’s all I have to say about that…

On a more positive note, I went out and purchased an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-polka-dotted-green-bikini this past weekend and I will *so* be sporting that sucker on the beach this weekend!  Yay for me!!  I’ve been working on loosing some poundage and kind of exercising “undercover” and I’m quite proud of where I’m at right now.  Hey, as a 37 year old mother of 3 kiddos including a set of twins, I think I’m doing okay in the bathing suit-body department.  Keeping my fingers crossed for a couple of “skinny days”…;)

Alright folks (or folk ;), I know nobody reads this thing ~ it was designed for me anyway so that’s quite alright.  BUT as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself, I suppose I will be signing off on that note!  I hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend and I will surely try to do the same.  Until next time, These are the Days of My Life…

Be great!     

I am exhausted!  But in a good way.  I had the busiest weekend ever, not getting an ounce of rest or down time.  It was crazy!!

Friday, h and I actually went out to dinner and then to a play at a local theatre.  The tickets were given as a gift from his dad eons ago and we’re still cool enough to hang out with each other and do stuff like this.  No biggie.  He did want to cruise to a bar afterwards, but I said no thanks.  Was home and in bed by a reasonable hour Friday evening.

Saturday…we had a scrimmage game for the boys and riding lessons for Belle before heading out for the boys’ birthday party, which was scheduled for 4.  I had everything in order and under control ~ everything timed to a ‘T’ so we could pull off all of these activities without a hitch.  We all went to the baseball game and made it home okay.  H was in charge of taking the boys to the party and I was to meet up with him there with Belle (because of her lesson).  So while Belle was at her riding lesson, I headed over to Target for a few odds and ends that I needed for the party.  I was completely prepared to pick up Belle and leave directly from her lesson no later than 3:30 to be at the party before 4:00 (it’s about a 15 minute drive from the stable to the party location).  So I’m in Target, darting around as fast as possible when all of a sudden I hear thunder.  BIG thunder.  I’m thinking, “holy shit…you have *got* to be kidding me…the windows in the car are down and I am NOT prepared to deal with rain…”  So I start rushing…and rushing some more.  And then I see people entering the store who are drenched from head to toe.  These people look like they were just thrown into a swimming pool with all their clothes on.  So gross ~ being soaking wet when fully clothed…blech!  So I make my purchases and head to the door.  Yeah right…  There are a hundred Target shoppers huddled around the front entrance waiting for the torrential downpour to let up.  Every now and again you’d see a brave soul dare to take on the rain and dash out into the storm, only to be soaked to the core before taking step #2.  It was awful!  Back I go into the store and find the nearest, cheapest umbrella which I proceed to purchase.  By this time I’m done thinking about the flood damage to my car and I’m only concerned about my “birthday party” hair, make-up and clothes.  Mothers out there will understand what I mean by that.  I have planned these things out and timed my day perfectly!  I cannot have the basics ruined by some freaking rain storm that I knew nothing about!!  Well, the cheap umbrella turned out to be totally useless.  I was walking in 5 inches of rain, so my pants were soaked from bottom to mid-thigh by the time I finally made it to my car.  Getting into my car was a joke in and of itself ~ I actually had to stop and laugh at myself in the midst of all the chaos...my new umbrella turned inside out and almost blew away and it took me forever to get myself and my bags and that crappy-ass umbrella in the car and close the door.  I passed a turned-over shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot with a case of beer laying on the ground with a few spare beers scattered here and there, and I *so* considered grabbing one to shotgun…you have no idea the state I was in…;)  Long story short, I drove to the horse farm to let Belle know that I needed to run home to change clothes and repair my face and hair and that I would be back to pick her up.  And I did it.  I made it to the party at 4:00 on the dot and they were still waiting for a few more kiddos to show up.  The party was a big success ~ the boys had an absolute blast!  But needless to say, once I got home and got the kids all settled in, I needed a beverage.  So I popped open a beer…which continued until ohhhh 4 or 5 in the morning…?  Another one of my lifelong besties, “T” and her husband went to dinner to celebrate her birthday Saturday night and then proceeded to come over to my house afterwards for a little “party” ~ totally unplanned.  Aren’t they always the best?!  We had a great time…

Sunday, “T” and her 3 rug rats hung out with me and my rug rats while her husband went to work.  Basically, we let the kids run wild while we recovered from the night before.  Not really ~ the kids were totally supervised.  We were just really laid back this particular day..;)  By about noon, I got a surge of energy and cleaned house for a few hours in preparation for accidental party #2.  We decided that when T’s hubby got off work, he would come over and we would cookout.  Turned out that the cookout we were originally scheduled for Sunday evening was canceled by the host.  So we planned our own cookout at my place.  Filets and crab legs for the adults, and sirloins for the kiddos.  I know, right?!  We had some kick-ass grub!!  Needless to say, the drinking started sometime mid-evening and lasted till the wee hours of the morning once again.  We partied like rockstars this weekend, what can I say?! 

Monday ~ we got up at the crack of dawn and got the kiddos ready and packed for a day at the lake.  H’s dad has a beautiful new lake house about an hour away from where we live with a great deep water dock and a couple of jet skis, so we invited T and her crew to come along and spend the day with us on the lake.  I had a few extra kids in tow (as I always do) ~ “Orphan Annie” (a story for a later date) and her older brother, “S”.  We had an absolute BLAST at the lake.  Got there nice and early and stayed all day.  And guess what I did…I fished!  Not only did I fish, I baited my own hook with live worms AND won the fishing tournament between me and T.  It was a trip…the kids found it hilarious…  Everyone had a fantastic time fishing, swimming and riding the jet skis and we all promptly crashed when we got home last night…

And that pretty much sums up my weekend.  On the agenda for my week…work, as usual, and my girls trip with v on Friday…I’ll keep you posted…

Alrighty then!  This has certainly been enough typing for one entry here, so I’m going to sign off on that note.  Stay tuned for more…Days of My Life..;) 

Until next time, be great!         

Here I am just now updating on the past weekend, and this upcoming weekend is staring me right in the face!  Memorial Day…hmmm…don’t have anything exciting planned for this weekend.  We’re having the boys’ birthday party Saturday afternoon ~ oh, and the boys play in their first all star game Saturday morning too.   But other than that, things will likely be pretty low key this weekend…

Unlike last Friday night!  My girlfriend v and I went out with a good friend of hers and her friend, so it was the four of us.  We went to this really cool restaurant/bar where they have live music on the weekends and quite a crowd for a small place.  Fun times my friends…fun times…  We drank way too much, took a spin on the dance floor (oh wait, there was no dance floor…well, I know I danced *somewhere*…), and talked to lots of cute boys.  All things necessary for a fun girls’ night out!  Saturday morning, I had to call v to make sure I closed out my tab.  Couldn’t remember and I hated to think that I didn’t take care of my bill.  Poor v…apparently she fell into her toilet the next morning because the seat had been put up and she failed to realize that...  Totally confused as to why her toilet seat would be up (no men in the house), she remembered that she had “visited the porcelain god” when she got home Friday night.  Nice…  Toldya, gooooood times..;)  Can’t wait until the next one!!

I woke up Saturday morning with a sore lower back. I can’t imagine what I did to bring it on, but it’s gotten progressively worse ever since.  Thanks to my sister, I was hooked up with some killer meds, but the downside to that is the fact that I cannot function while I’m taking them.  Sunday, I literally couldn’t get out of the bed at all.  H had to assist me and it took me about 30 minutes to finally get up and going.  I’ve made it to work every day, but I’ve had to leave early because the pain becomes too intense and nothing but the meds help…and again, I can’t function on those meds so I need to be at home in order to take them.  I pretty much have to take them and then veg out for a couple of hours.  I hate it when that happens!  I’m just not accustomed to so much down time.  But I think it helps when I give into it and just chill out.  Meanwhile, I’m waiting on a referral to go see an orthopedic doctor, so hopefully I’ll have some answers soon!

Nothing much else to report.  My kiddos got out of school on Wednesday, so it’s a busy time trying to schedule their summer with friends and camps and all that fun stuff.  My girls’ trip to Savannah is still on for next weekend.  I can’t WAIT!!!  I could really use a fun getaway.  I’m so looking forward to taking off next weekend!!

Signing off on that note.  As always, be great!

"When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught to fly."  - Patrick Overton

Holding onto hope and faith ~ Praying for solid ground...or wings... 

Yay…it’s Friday!  Gotta love the weekend..:)

On the agenda…let’s see…  Well, technically I should be on the road right now heading out of town.  I had a last minute girl’s trip planned for this weekend, but it’s been postponed until the end of the month.  Seeing how we threw this trip together 2 days ago, I’m kinda glad we pushed it back 2 weeks.  That gives us a little more planning time and two more weeks to get skinny!  Let’s hear it for crash diets!!  My girlfriend v and I are heading to Savannah.  The pubs on River Street are just calling our names…I can hear it now..:)  We plan on visiting City Market, hitting the cool bars at night, and even getting a beach day in!  I cannot wait!!  We’re both in desperate need of an *escape* and this trip is just what the doctor ordered.  Well, that and a prescription for “happy pills”..;)  Stay tuned for updates on my girl’s trip!

The boys were supposed to be having the first of their end of season tournament games this evening, but it’s been pushed back to tomorrow morning because of the rain from yesterday.  I’m totally bummed about this!  I was all hyped up for a baseball game this evening and now I have to wait another 12 hours…hate it when that happens!  Oh well, at least we won’t be missing Friday night Smackdown tonight!!  Always gotta look on the bright side..:)  You should know that our Friday night ritual in my house includes pizza and Friday night Smackdown.  Yes, it’s a redneck hoe-down, folks.  We’re all big WWE fans in my household and every Friday night we gather around the television and hoot and holler when our favorite wrestlers do their thang.  Never in a million years would I have thought that I’d be a fan of such nonsense, but I must confess ~ I’ve been totally sucked in by this most disturbing form of entertainment.  One of these days I’ll have to post a blog about my experience at a live WWE RAW event that we went to in December.  Exciting times my friends, exciting times… 

V and I are thinking about doing dinner and drinks tonight.  She doesn’t have her kiddos this weekend and my night is open because the boys’ game has been postponed, so tonight might be a girl’s night out.  H has informed me that he is going out Saturday night (no surprise there) so I’ll likely be at home with the kids and whoever they have spending the night Saturday night.  H is famous for going out on Thursday and Saturday nights, which I LOVE because it’s the only *me* time that I get in the house with the kids.  Amazing how much more smoothly things run when he’s not around.  I don’t mean to portray h as being an asshole because he’s really not.  But under the circumstances in which we live, you can imagine the tension between us at times, which unfortunately carries over to everyone, kids included.  Again, I just like my alone time when he goes out so I’m very much looking forward to Saturday night!

Not much else to report here ~ so I guess I’ll be signing off.  I hope everyone enjoys their weekend, and until next time…These are the Days of my Life..;)  Be great!    

I copied this from another blog…name 10 (changed from 12) weird/random facts, goals, etc…whatever about yourself…

1)      I have this really weird thing I do with my bedsheets called “scratchies”.  It’s a habit I’ve had for as long as I can remember and it’s the most calming, comforting thing in the world to me.  Basically, scratchies means rubbing the sheets between your fingers and toes.  Yes, toes too.  I’m kinda like a freaky monkey with the ability to use my toes like fingers.  You must be very skilled in this manner to achieve scratchies with your toes, dontchuknow…

2)      I’m petrified of railroad tracks although I love the sound of a train.  I literally sweat when I cross train tracks.  I have to slow my car down to a creeping pace, roll the windows down to listen for the train’s horn, and look both ways a hundred times to make sure the coast is clear before proceeding forward.  And God help me if the railroad crossing is activated…with those freaky lights flashing and bells clanging and the crossbars lowering…omg, total panic, I tell ya! 

3)      I’ve always wanted to be a foster parent.  If I was in a stable place in my marriage, this is something I would definitely pursue at some point.  There are so many children who are not cared for properly, shown love, protection, and security, who don’t have mothers and fathers that are worth a damn.  To have the opportunity to provide that ~ a safe haven for a little one even for a short period of time, would be so rewarding to me… 

4)      I’m deathly afraid of heights, but I want to jump out of an airplane.  Go fish.  I’m a total mess when it comes to being in high places.  Scares me to death when my kids (or anyone else’s kids for that matter!) get close to a railing at the mall or a hotel or anyplace where more than 1 story is involved.  A couple of the waterslides in Disney World required upward treks that literally had me in total panic-attack mode.  It was AWFUL!  My poor kids now think I’m a total freak.  If I said it once I said it a hundred times…DON’T GO NEAR THE EDGE AND DON’T LET GO OF MAMA!!!  Even strangers in line caught wind of my abnormal fear and chimed in making fun of me.  Trust me, it was *so* not funny..!  Don’t ask me how in the heck I think I’m gonna jump out of a plane.  Mark my words though, I’ll do it!

5)      I have a very special place in my heart for children afflicted with cancer and the families of those who are suffering.  Through my blog reading, I’ve been introduced to a number of “little warriors” who are fighting for their lives and their amazing families who support them along their painful journeys.  I’ve read about survivors and I’ve read about those who have earned their little angel wings…but they are all such amazing people…  Childhood cancer can strike anyone at anytime.  I thank God everyday that my children are so healthy.       

6)      I am a bone marrow donor.  I have never been called to donate, but I would in a heartbeat.  Becoming a donor is simple.  If you’re interested, follow this link to the National Marrow Donor Program ~

http://www.marrow.org/HELP/Join_the_Donor_Registry/Join_Now_Special/TM/tm08_join_now.html?src=ThxMom_RegistryB_2MidMay

7)      I love smart people.  And no, I’m not one of them.  I love people who can rattle off random facts, who can win at trivia, who can hold a decent, knowledgeable conversation on topics of politics, history, religion, etc…  Totally impressive in my book!   In my next life, I wanna be a brainiac.

8)      I hate it when people during a conversation consistently say “huh?” or repeat a question I’ve asked.  Liar liar pants on fire…hello???  Can’t stand that!  If you’re not 80 years old and/or in need of a hearing aid, then there is absolutely no reason for you to say “huh” when asked a simple question, nor is it necessary to repeat anything coming out of my mouth.  A simple question requires a simple answer, period.  Anyone who stumbles that much is shady in my book…

9)      I used to make it a point to run naked on the beach every time I visited it…  Seriously, I’d hit the beach at night time when it would be pitch dark (the beach at night is fabulous…), take off all my clothes and just run wildly.  You’d be *shocked* at how awesome an experience this is!!  I’ve talked other people into running naked on the beach too and everyone had a blast with it.  Skinny dipping in the ocean at night is another favorite of mine…  Hmmm…I haven’t done either one in years ~ perhaps I need to during my next beach visit..:)

10)  I am an Aries and I pretty much fit the description of one to a ‘T’.  And no, I’m not a zodiac/horoscope junkie.  I just find the stuff entertaining…

Anyone who knows me knows that my boys are ball players.  They’re sports fanatics in general, but I think baseball is “their game”.  They played their first t-ball season at the ripe old age of 4 (how insane is that?!) and quickly became well-known for their antics of driving the coaches insane and keeping the *fans* totally entertained in the stands.  Because they were the smallest on the team, they were assigned to the outfield where they did anything but pay attention to the game.  They spent most of their time fighting with one another ~ hitting, kicking, spitting, stealing and throwing each other’s hats, and even throwing punches at times.  They did an okay job of listening if the mood struck them and if the coach could catch them when they weren’t having a serious A.D.D. moment...  I remember h had become so fed up and embarrassed by their behavior at practice that I was assigned to the task.  I’ll never forget the day that one of them ran up to the coach in the middle of practice, swiped his cell phone off his belt, and proceeded to run away with it, the other twin trailing behind, both laughing hysterically at their antics…Lord have mercy…  Thank goodness, their coach was a God-send and had the patience of Job.  He was never fazed by their behavior and worked diligently to teach them the basics of the game.  And I have to say, they did progress that season as with every season that’s followed since.  They even managed to hit the ball, run the bases and score some runs that first season…although the first time that each of them actually got a hit, they ended up running the bases 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd…dugout?!  Yep, ran straight into the dugout after passing 3^rd base.  Fun times and lots of laughs, for sure… But the one thing that has remained constant during their little baseball “career” is the fact that they absolutely LOVE the game of baseball.  They loved it from day one and still today, they eat, breathe and sleep baseball... 

Fast forward 3 years…the boys are playing their first season at the “pee-wee” level.  Noah is a first baseman and a pitcher.  Rossy plays second although he can play anywhere in the in-field.  He also pitches at times.  I don’t know how many homeruns they have under their little belts, but they average 1 or 2 a game.  Never, however, have they managed to hit the ball over the fence and out of the park.  This has been a long-term goal of theirs ever since they saw another player do it way back when.  I must say that since they’ve been playing ball at age 4, I’ve seen only 2 or 3 balls go over that fence…until this past weekend…  Add 2 more to that counter.  Noah hit 2 homeruns over the fence at our last game, both off the first pitch.  He was incredibly proud of himself, but acted in a very mature manner.  His teammates in the dugout went crazy not once, but twice…and Rossy crossed home plate thanks to his brother’s out-of-the-park homeruns, and waited with a huge smile and an outstretched hand, to congratulate Noah on a job well done.  I can’t help but flashback to my little 4 year old boys standing in that outfield, their little uniforms just swallowing them up…digging in the dirt or yelling at each other or swiping each other’s hats…watching the “big boys” make all the plays and knock the balls to the fence… I’m so proud of both of them, words can’t describe. 

Take me out to the ballgame…anytime, as long as my boys are playing…

So I guess if I’m really gonna do this thing, I probably should start out by telling a little bit about myself.  So here’s an entry all about…ME!

My name is "j", I’m 37 years old, and I live in Georgia.  I’ve been married to “h” for 12.5 years and we have 3 kids; a daughter age 10, and identical twin boys age 8.  My kids are the three single most important people in my life.  I love them beyond words ~ they are my world, and then some…  Unfortunately, my marriage is over and it’s only a matter of time before h and I are able to work out the details of the divorce.  My kids do not know that this is happening.  We still all reside under one roof and pretty much function as a [dysfunctional] “family”.  Certainly, the kids have picked up on the little things (like why Mommy sleeps on the sofa…), but for the most part they seem to be content at the moment with the way things are.  There is no doubt that it will devastate them to learn the truth, but unfortunately it’s part of the ugly process of divorce.  Although h’s parents divorced when he was really small, I have literally no divorce in my family.  My parents were married for 38 years when my father died in June of 2000.  All of my aunts and uncles remain married or widowed.  I have two older sisters and a younger brother; all married with kids.  My divorce will rock my family’s world ~ one more thing I have to look forward to… 

But enough of the “divorce” talk.  Let’s move on to some other random facts about myself…  I work as a computer programmer analyst for a software company in Atlanta.  I’ve been here since 1994 when I interned right out of college.  Several years ago I went back to school and graduated from the University of Georgia with my teaching degree.  I specialized in special education and landed a job before graduating.  This was about the time when all hell was breaking loose with my marriage and therefore, I had to turn down the teaching position I was just hired for.  It was purely a financial decision and one that I regret almost daily.  Maybe one day I’ll get back to teaching, who knows.  In the meantime, I’m looking to make a professional change.  This is a vital step in moving forward with the divorce, so hopefully something will happen soon with that…we shall see… 

And on that note, I think I’ll wrap it up for today.  Not that I’m a writer by any means, but usually whenever I write (professionally or personally), I’m a perfectionist.  I like for things to be organized properly, grammatically correct, and all that other good stuff.  For my personal blog, however, I’ve decided to just let it fly.  No planning.  No writing, re-writing, proofing, correcting, and re-writing again.  I’m just gonna let the words flow from my keyboard and just go with it.  So forgive me in advance if I’m all over the place at times.  This is something I’m doing as an outlet for myself.  Something about writing clears the mind and soothes the soul.  I could use some mind-clearing and soul-soothing and I think this is the best way to achieve that. 

Until next time, be great.